Self-Confidence vs. Self-Esteem: Why High-Achievers Like You Need to Know the Difference
Confident but still doubting yourself? Let’s talk about self-confidence vs. self-esteem.
I see it all the time with my clients, especially the high achievers—the ones who are always on top of their game, getting things done, and racking up wins. They seem confident because they’re capable, successful, and always hitting their goals. But there’s a big difference between feeling confident in what you do and actually feeling good about who you are.
I’ve been there myself. I used to think I had it all figured out because I believe in myself and in my capabilities to take action, get stuff done and meet my goals. But my self-worth was tied entirely to my achievements. If I wasn’t busy crushing it, I felt lost. For high achievers, it’s easy to fall into this trap—mistaking confidence in your skills for confidence in your worth. It’s the “I do, so I am” mindset, and it’s a major sign of low self-esteem.
I worked with a client who came to me saying, “I need to work on my confidence.” On the surface, she was confident—great at her job, excellent in meetings, always delivering results. But as we dug deeper, it became clear it wasn’t her confidence that was lacking; it was her self-esteem. She was constantly seeking validation, needing others to tell her she was doing well. When that praise wasn’t there, she felt anxious, second-guessed her decisions, and feared she wasn’t good enough.
The turning point came when she realized that real self-esteem isn’t about being the best or always achieving; it’s about knowing your worth regardless of external validation. It’s about being okay with yourself, even when you’re not perfect or when things aren’t going your way.
For her, the journey was about separating her identity from her achievements. It meant recognizing her value as a person, not just as a performer. It’s not about proving yourself every day; it’s about accepting that you’re enough, that you are both a Master Piece and a Work In Progress!
Now, when I work with high achievers, we dive deep into the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem. We focus on building that inner sense of worth that isn’t shaken by a missed target or critical feedback. It’s about shifting from “I do, so I am” to “I am, so I do.” Because when you truly value yourself, you don’t need constant external validation to feel good.
If you’re finding yourself stuck in this cycle, there’s a way to break free!
Save the date for my next Online Mindset Mastery on "How to break free from self-saboteurs to boost your confidence and self-esteem".
This 90 min Online Class is designed to help you:
✅ Identify and overcome self-sabotaging patterns that undermine your confidence and self-esteem
✅ Understand how your brain’s wiring can impact your sense of self and your performance
✅ Learn practical strategies to manage stress and stay calm, focused, and positive, even when things get tough
✅ Use the 'Three Gifts Technique' to turn setbacks into stepping stones for growth
✅ Build mental resilience with daily practices that support your journey to stronger self-worth
To make this the most valuable experience possible, only 5 slots are available. As an added bonus for joining, you’ll receive:
👉🏻 a complimentary 5-minute Saboteur Assessment to uncover your personal saboteurs,
👉🏻 a free 30-minute strategic call,
and as a member of my newsletter, you can get 50% off with the promo code MINDSET
To stronger leaders and happier teams,
Leila Boutaleb-Brousse